Several Inspiring Professional Coaching Strategies For Staying Married

By habits in Procrastinating on February 19th, 2010

For many new parents, it can be very difficult to comprehend the change in their lives. The arrival of kids can make a huge difference and really change the way that they looked at the relationship and at the very structure of the partnership.

What may have been a perfectly happy marriage can become, rather quickly, a rocky road. Delicate adjustments are needed by both people here as they try and right the boat and this can apply whether you have had kids before, or not. Maintaining a happy and successful relationship when kids come into the equation really does require us to constantly work at our relationship with our other half.

Whenever doubts arise, worries come to the surface or even anger bubbles up, it is important to take a step back and look at the overall picture. You’ve heard the phrase, “can’t see the wood for the trees”? This is particularly apt when applied to two frazzled parents who have to just keep going! From an overall perspective, both now have to take on additional jobs and become multiple role players. This can often be a tricky transition and can lead to each person spending more time focusing on their new “position” than on their opposite partner. In the case of new parents, the mum may put so much effort and attention into caring for the new arrival, that the marriage may not seem so important a priority any more.

When mum is so absorbed with the new arrival, dad can feel as if he is completely surplus. A husband may “assume” that his wife needs overall responsibility and is the best person to look after the kids. Subconsciously or otherwise, this may result in him backing away from the relationship as a whole, even though he thinks it is the right thing.

Both parties need to watch each other and look for tell-tale signs. Look for signs of overload, irritability or a short temper. Don’t dismiss any negative vibes such as this, as if left to fester small problems tend to grow large, ugly and hard to crack.

Whenever the kids are not around, sit down and have a very deep and meaningful conversation. Quietly and calmly ask your opposite half whether you are being reasonable and expect their honest replies. Remember that it is very difficult to maintain the kind of lifestyle you may have enjoyed before the children came along and understand that you now have a different set of priorities in your life.

The most important point to remember is that it will take the efforts of the team to raise the children properly and both members need to realise how much effort this will take and how it is a joint venture. When all is said and done, give each other a hug and remember that you are the leaders of the pack!

It’s not all doom and gloom You do need to prioritise time together, but just make sure that your time represents quality time. Can you remember when you had a nice weekend away together? That romantic dinner should be scheduled as often as everything allows and try your best to come up with small, but meaningful and romantic gifts or surprises for each other.

Experts can often help mums with their huge challenge ahead, especially those who are still working when all this madness is going on. Thankfully, online life coaching is a marvellous way to pick up some truly professional coaching, and when it comes to coaching for women, it’s the perfect place to turn when life becomes manic!

Amanda Alexander is the Director of Coaching Mums and a widely renowned ICF-accredited coach who delivers professional coaching programmes to working moms across the globe who long for more time, balance and fulfilment in their busy lives. Download our free eBook especially for working mums with 5 easy ways to achieve balance.

Share and Enjoy: