Self-Help Readers Usually Buy Over and Over Again
My self-help ranges from overcoming anxiety and shyness, sexuality and dating advice. Those who buy products like these tend to buy them over and over again. What could be the cause of it?
The reason is the books and products are based on satisfying an insecurity.
The insecurity isn’t usually handled when it comes to these products, it’s fueled instead.
This is a typical advice I’ve seen on several dating/sex ebooks:
“When a woman says ‘not tonight’ punish her by giving her less attention. When she does something you like reward her and give her more attention.”
If she doesn’t want to have sex tonight why would you have to act on it? The basic communication being…man needs to use a mental “combat” technique because he felt rejected when woman said “not tonight”.
It fuels his insecurity if you haven’t caught that. The technique creates a self-perpetual loop of insecure emotions that’s hard to get rid of.
These books give some good advice, but “feeding insecurity” is woven in to keep you looking for ways to stay ahead of the “game”. When actually it’s just the illusion of staying ahead, its mostly the same information.
It’s to keep you coming back. Making you buy the same books just re-packaged in different ways.
Who is the target of such tactics? Those who buy again and again are socially awkward, introverted or shy men because the message delivered is “you gotta stay ahead of the game”.
How do I kno? I decided to read and go through almost a dozen of such programs on dating & relationships…what I found is not only that it’s pretty much the same advice but that the material SUCKS! Yet, they still sell nonetheless.
I still have to see a book or program that advises “Here is the technique that make women BEG to be with you. If she doesn’t want to have sex with you on a regular basis then probably you two have a deeper underlying issue. End on a good note and simply leave. Because the techniques here get you more women than you’ll be able to handle so don’t waste your time playing games.”
Is it necessary to “pretend” walking away to try and scare her? Before the relationship gets sour actually LEAVE so you guys can stay on good terms.
In order to get out of that insecurity “loop” and find something that WORKS you need to find advice that focuses on deeper issues. The brains that we are born with today isn’t radically different from the brains people were born with 30years ago. Regardless of culture and time we still play out the same games from thousands of years ago.
We still act out the mating, status, acceptance game etc…
We have fundamental wiring that we can work with inside of us. To forge strategies that last you can use these “wirings” as part of the strategy instead of constantly replenishing surface techniques.
I wrote an ebook about the deeper more powerful self-help aspects of social dynamics BUT I won’t refer you to it yet. It’s NOT for everyone so check out some of my articles first and see if you resonate with it.
Interested in learning more? Visit surfsocialwaves.com/blog
Hope this help!
Your friend,
Chris C.
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